I saw the movie “Up” the other day with my two children, Henry is 2 ½ and Elliot is 1 ½. Summers are quite hot in North Carolina and watching a movie in an air-conditioned theater in the middle of the day is the best alternative to the local pool. My kids were both riveted. Elliot sat on my lap and couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. Every once in a while he realized that there was popcorn and would divert for a second to grab a handful and shove it in his mouth. Henry too was riveted, but he is more sensitive and cried in a few places that were a little scary for a toddler. I, however, cried like a fool, but not because the dogs were chasing the bird. There were certain elements to the story that speak on so many levels, often as children’s movies can do. But “Up” captures the story of life in so many wonderful ways. It is almost embarrassing to the art of filmmaking that it succeeds, considering it is a kid’s movie. It is about doing what you want to do and what you love….but also finding the love in everything that you do.

I had my dog Rita put to sleep two weeks ago. It was not really a difficult decision in hindsight. She was old, in pain, and had some health problems. She was not so far gone that she could no nothing, but we decided that it was not in anyone’s interest to wait until that point. I miss her, and I loved her dearly, but her life had come to a close. I think if I could ask her, she would say she was ready to go. At one point, while the vet was injecting her with sedative, she looked up at me as if to say ”finally, thank you!” I wonder how many people would take this option if it were legal and accepted in society.

There are times when I wonder how Ben was able to do it as long as he did. I watched with agony as I thought about myself in his situation. I see how it is an impossible decision. I don’t judge one way or the other, and I don’t even know how I would feel. But Rita went when she did, and Ben went when he did. Rita at my hand and Ben at fate’s hand. Were they the right times? Who knows, but they were the time. I am sure I will be judged for not letting Rita die when she was naturally going to go. However if I was not feeding her, nature would tell her to go off in the woods and take care of it.

June 22 is the day for Indestructible Art. Ben’s memorial service at the cemetery is the day before. There are many emotions to describe, all valid and important. The event on Monday takes up so much of my time and energy, but Ben’s memorial will pull much more from me. I am relieved for Ben that he doesn’t have to fight anymore, but I miss him terribly. I am relieved for Rita that she lived a long life, but I miss her terribly. There is a constant tug of war with what feels good or right and I am sure I will never have that answer. But in the meantime, I will probably go to see “Up” again, because it is a wonderful way to share an important piece of life with my children.